PHOTO CONFESSIONAL: Santiago Mesa
Some members of the Embera Chamí community, due to violence, have had to migrate from their territories to the cities. In Bogotá, they live in three places: Parque Nacional, La Rioja, and UPI La Florida. In all these places, they live in overcrowded, precarious conditions with limited opportunities. A traditional Embera Chamí dress hangs in one of the shared rooms in La Rioja.
IF YOU WEREN’T A PHOTOGRAPHER, WHAT OTHER PROFESSION WOULD YOU PICK?
It’s difficult. The only thing I’ve done in my life is take photos, and that’s practically what motivates me to get out of bed. I struggle to do other things; it’s the only thing I’ve worked on. I’ve been doing it for 10 years, but I think maybe I could have been an architect. I come from a family with three older brothers, all architects, just like my father. It could have been an easier path, and I might have had a more settled life.
WHAT HAS BEEN THE MOST CRUCIAL DECISION YOU HAVE MADE IN YOUR CAREER’s DEVELOPMENT?
I believe that in this profession, we make crucial decisions every day, and just deciding to be a photojournalist or documentary photographer is one of them; it marks you forever. Later, deciding to go freelance and accept that you’ll have a more or less precarious life, but doing what you love, was also crucial. It’s like this with almost all decisions. For example, now I feel like I’m making another important decision: I’m moving my photography towards a place different from photojournalism, perhaps more towards art. It’s difficult to take risks, but as I say, it’s a career full of risks; we’re always making crucial decisions, and that’s what defines us.
Ahitana, 23 years old, is a woman from the Embera Chamí community, displaced to Bogotá from her territory in Chocó due to the armed conflict. She lives in La Rioja, one of the three places the community occupies in the city. She has faced a hostile city, mistreatment, and limited opportunities. She has attempted to take her own life on several occasions, the most recent being on April 1, 2024.
HOW IMPORTANT IS RESEARCH IN YOUR WORK?
Research is one of the most important aspects. It would be impossible to do our work as photographers without thorough and deep research. You have to try to understand the people you’re going to photograph, and this can take months; it’s an entire process before even starting to take photos.
A man confronts the riot squad with an axe during the Colombian National Strike of 2021.
IS THERE A PHOTOGRAPHER/ARTIST WHO IS A CONSTANT REFERENCE FOR YOU?
Oh, there are so many, and they’re constantly changing. Besides, I think it’s good to learn from many people; most of them have a lot to offer. If I talk about giants, I might say Paolo Pellegrin, jack Davison, Jacob Aue Sobol, or Christopher Anderson. Although it’s always tricky to make lists because you inevitably leave someone out, I could say that in Colombia, I greatly admire the work of Jorge Panchoaga, Federico Ríos, Juanita Escobar, Santiago Escobar, Charlie Cordero, Paula Thomas, Andrés Cardona, Nathalia Angarita, Chelo Camacho, Fernanda Pineda, Andrés Bo, Juan Cristóbal Cobo, among others. Besides, I think there are references of all kinds, not just in photography. I like cinema a lot, and I’m also inspired by cinematographers like Tod Campbell or Roger Deakins.
WHAT WOULD YOU NOT WANT TO PHOTOGRAPH?
I’m not interested in photographing without a purpose; I can’t just pick up my camera without having a question in mind, a story, or a theme. So far, I haven’t come across a topic that I didn’t want to photograph.
Marneli Birry, 10 years old, combs her mother Liria Cheito’s hair, who attempted to take her own life with her paruma (a traditional garment of this community) on April 7, 2023, in the Embera Dobida community of Puerto Antioquia, Chocó, after becoming exhausted from her husband's abuse.
WHAT EQUIPMENT DO YOU USE, AND WHAT IMPORTANCE DO YOU GIVE TO TECHNIQUE?
I’ve spent almost my entire career working with Fujifilm. I currently work with an X-Pro 3 and a 35mm lens. I like its size, its lightness, and that it’s not ostentatious; it goes unnoticed, doesn’t intimidate people, it looks like a toy camera, and that allows me to get a bit closer. I almost always work with that 35mm lens; I think I can do everything I need with it, except for journalistic coverage, where I need a telephoto lens, which I either rent or borrow. The truth is, I don’t like telephoto lenses; I feel uncomfortable being far from what I’m photographing, and I think it’s more about comfort than technique.
The young people of the Puente Nayero humanitarian space often spend the afternoon at the viewpoint in Buenaventura, Colombia, on August 4, 2023.
WHAT IS THE STARTING POINT OF YOUR CREATIVE PROCESS?
The starting point of my creativity, I think, is the hardest part. Most of the time, I let myself be guided by intuition; everything starts with a question in my head, then comes the research. When it’s time to photograph, I can imagine images and have them somewhat prepared, but when you arrive at the place, everything is completely different. So, at first, I take photos of everything, but then, calmly at home, reviewing and talking with friends about the project, I find within it how I want the project to look, and that’s when I start to focus on that and follow the line I chose, although it can obviously change.
The Embera Dobida community of Puerto Antioquia, in Chocó, has 141 inhabitants: 31 men, 27 women, and 83 children, and was founded approximately 30 years ago. It is one of the 45 Embera communities along the Bojayá River, where, according to the diocese, 60 suicides occurred between 2015 and 2024, along with more than 400 suicide attempts. The ongoing wars in the area, forced recruitment, isolation due to the conflict, accusations from armed groups, and the lack of state assistance are some of the reasons why many of these people have decided to take their own lives. In Puerto Antioquia, on April 7, 2023, the first recorded suicide took place. Yadira Birry, 16 years old, took her life. That same night, there were three more attempts, and to date, there have been more than 15 suicide attempts in the community.
During protests leading up to the Colombian National Strike, a man was attacked by the riot police while protesting alongside students against the country's inequality. December 6, 2019. Medellín, Colombia.
HOW DO YOU DEFINE YOUR PHOTOGRAPHY WITH a #tag
It’s a difficult question to sum it all up in a tag, but I think it would be something like #ContemporaryViolence.
at what point did you feel you were a photographer, and what made you think that way?
I think I truly felt like a photographer when I received my first payment for taking photos, although even before that, I knew that was the path I wanted to follow. But realizing that you can live, or at least survive, by doing that already sets much clearer guidelines in your mind. I’m not saying that to be a photographer, you have to make money, but in my mind, it was important to know that I could live from it.
After Gonzalo Montoya was killed by a police officer on November 11, 2018, his family created this altar as a tribute in Caldas, Colombia, on November 16, 2018.
HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH REJECTION?
Rejection is always hard, but it’s a constant in this job. I think the most important thing is to learn to take the hits and never take it personally; otherwise, you’d end up quitting the profession. The important thing is to keep working, take from what people tell you what benefits you, and discard what you think doesn’t. But basically, don’t take anything personally.
HOW DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE ACCOMPLISHED SUCH SUCCESS?
It’s hard to think about success, which I’m not even sure what it is, but I think if success is managing to live from photography, doing what I love, then I’ve achieved it by working, doing things right, without stepping on anyone, and with perseverance.
The body of a murdered man floats in the Medellín River. December 23, 2019. Colombia.
HOW DO YOU APPROACH STRANGERS IN YOUR PROJECTS OR TO INCLUDE IN YOUR PROJECTS?
I always approach people with sincerity; the important thing is that they clearly understand your intentions. I tell them why I’m interested in them and let them talk to me. Listening is important; people want to be heard, and most of the time, they want to tell their stories. It can’t be that I just show up with the camera; you can’t do that. You have to take the time to simply talk, listen, and then, when the connections have been made and everything is clear enough, I start taking photos. But it’s a process that can take weeks.
In Tibú, there are more than 13,000 Venezuelan migrants who crossed the border from Venezuela to come and make a living as coca cultivators. Tibú, Norte de Santander, Colombia.
IS IT COMMON FOR YOU TO QUESTION YOURSELF OR YOUR PHOTOGRAPHY?
It’s completely common; there isn’t a day I don’t do it. I think being satisfied with what you do is the death of your career. It’s complex because this feeling of never being completely satisfied is difficult, but it’s a driving force. It’s also important to understand the purpose of photography. Sometimes we believe that photos can change the world, and that’s not true. Photography can’t end a war, for example, but it can put issues on the agenda, and it’s important to be at peace with that.
Vanessa mourns her friend Gregorio Bello, 20, who was killed on May 23 2021 in Cali, Colombia, after participating in a protest. He was killed by the police.
how is to approach to the art world/ photo-book world?
From a very young age, my life has been linked to art. My father, besides being an architect, was an aesthete and dedicated his life to being a teacher, so in my house, there was art in many forms, and art was always a topic of conversation. What I learned young about this was thanks to my father. Now, I also did a Master’s in Fine and Visual Arts, so i’m connected to that world, although I don’t consider myself an artist, or at least I don’t refer to myself as such. I’m also very interested in photobooks. Last year, I published my first photobook, *No Pase*, about the violence in Medellín, which I documented for 7 years. The result was a book published with two publishers that worked together: Raya by Santiago Escobar and Mesa Estándar. I think the photobook culture in Colombia is still developing, but we’re making progress every day.
Luisa Birry, 21 years old, is the older sister of Yadira Birry, who took her own life in 2023 in the Embera Dobida indigenous community of Puerto Antioquia, Chocó. Luisa attempted to take her life before her sister did.
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO A NEW PHOTOGRAPHER WHO IS JUST STARTING OUT?
I would tell them they’re going to take a lot of hits, that it’s going to be difficult, that getting money is very complicated, but that if this is really what they want to do, they shouldn’t stop. Perseverance is the most important thing, and if they don’t stop, they’ll get better every day. You don’t go backward in photography if you don’t stop; on the contrary, you only grow. With love and responsibility, it’s possible to make a living from this.
ABOUT santiago mesa
Santiago Mesa is a documentary photographer born in Medellín, Colombia. Interested in social issues and inequality, he documented violence in his hometown for several national media outlets over the years. He graduated in journalism from Eafit University in Medellín and holds a master&’s degree in Plastic and Visual Arts from the National University of Colombia. Additionally, he attended a documentary photography course at the University of Hanover, Germany. He has been recognized with several national and international awards, such as the Sony World Photography Awards 2020 and the Simón Bolívar Award 2020. In 2022, he published his first photobook, *No Pase*, which addresses violence in Medellín. He is currently working on a project about suicides in the indigenous communities of his country.
Portrait by Juan Felipe Rubio
